It is no longer news that top actress
Ini Edo’s marriage to Philips
Ehiagwina has collapsed. So much
has been written mostly by writers
relying on third party sources as to
why the marriage failed.
The widely speculated reason has
been the issue of infidelity that the
husband alleged.
But was that the main reason the
couple went their separate ways?
According to a source close to the
couple and was there when the
romance started in 2008, and
remained close to the now divorced
couple, the media has been scratching
the surface of what indeed was a story
of irreconciliable differences the
actress endured for over six years of
her marriage to her estranged
husband; and why she gave her all to
sustain the marriage. It is a story as
told by an insider who knew the
couple way back from New York,
where Philips once lived, before
moving to Texas, then to Atlanta and
now Ghana.
“I think Ini Edo was badly in love.
Philips was a charmer and, as a
human being and deeply in love, she
followed her heart. It is so sad that a
woman blessed with such a good
heart could be treated in such a hurtful
manner. Most people may not know,
but Ini Edo is a dedicated and totally
committed spouse any man could
hope to have. That’s why she endured
all she did, for six years without
letting the world know the pain she
was going through in her marriage,”
the source stated. “Most people do not
know that Ini Edo gave up a lot of
acting jobs to be with her husband in
America and, unlike the widely
peddled story that the actress was
involved in romantic relationships
with other men, for the six years that
Ini was married to Philips, she never
cheated on him. Ini Edo adored and
loved Philips; she was very fond of
him, cooked his meals personally, and
was practically splitting her time
between two continents, all in her
efforts to be a good wife.
“ There is no doubt that Ini was madly
in love with her ex-husband. In a 2009
interview she had with my newspaper,
The Diasporan Star in New York, she
effusively declared her fidelity to
Phillips and debunked all the stories
of her liaisons with other men. “I am
usually at a loss when I read stories
about my sexual relationships with
phantom figures and personalities. It
is really astonishing when people just
manufacture stories, give them legs
and let them fly when they know the
stories are absolutely false,” she had
said.
“It is perfectly legitimate for men to
have designs and desires on stars. I
was recently voted by the public as
Nollywood’s Sexiest Actress. So it
comes with the territory that men
would want to date me. The question
then becomes: do you fall prey to
every man that comes your way? The
answer is absolutely “no”. I was
raised well by my parents and I have
always been a one-man lady. All the
sexual shenanigans that the media
have associated me with are all false.
The problem with our journalists is
that if they saw you at a coffee shop
with a man – just any man – even if
that man is your cousin or brother,
they will automatically assume that
that is your new lover, and without
asking questions, will rush to publish
that you were seen at a coffee shop
with a new lover.
“I have lost count of the number of
such innocent outings with family
members, friends that the media
misconstrued that I was dating. What
the media failed to understand was
that I had not allowed stardom and
celebrity to becloud my values. What
they did not realize was that I wanted
to be married, and start a family, and
that the notion that I was some kind of
a sexually crazed hormone raging
young woman, was totally false and a
bad reading of who I am.
“Did I have friends in the past? Of
course, just like any other young and
single woman out there, I had friends.
Did that make me an out-of control
sexual goddess? Absolutely not! It has
been very painful for me each time I
read all the stories written about me,
stuffs that are patently false. I have,
however, come to accept it as part of
the price you pay for stardom. I just
wished they could do a little
investigation before rushing to
publish.
“One story that pained me a lot is the
notion that I snatched Philips from his
ex-wife – Ruth Okoro – while she
was recuperating from cancer
treatment. Nothing could be further
from the truth. The ex-wife said I was
callous and mean-spirited to have
done so. Initially, I had wanted to
ignore what she had said about me.
But I would like to use this medium to
state that I did not take Philips from
Ruth Okoro.
“When Philips came into my life, he
was a single man, with no marital
encumbrances. ••••
Philips was divorced from Ruth at the
time we began seeing each other. So, I
do not understand what she is talking
about. I remember asking Philips to
come clean with me, and tell me
everything that had happened between
him ‘and his ex-wife. I demanded to
know if he was still married to her,
and Philips said “no” and produced a
divorce paper to back up his claim. It
was after that that we began dating.
“ There is no way I would have dated
him if he was still married to Ruth. My
values would have been in conflict
with that. There is no way I would
have dated and agreed to marry
Philips if I knew that he had
abandoned his wife in hospital while
she was recuperating from cancer
treatment.
“ That would have been a huge turn-
off. The Philips I met and got married
to is a perfect family man – a
dependable, God-fearing man who
treasures his family. Philips was
there for his ex-wife throughout her
hospitalization, and she knows it. Let
me also add here as a piece of advice
to our fellow women: If you had a
home, one that you truly love and
appreciate, treat that home as a prized
possession. Treat your husband well.
“There is nothing to gain if you
maltreat your husband, and make his
life miserable. Men do not like that. I
hope Ruth understands and
appreciates the depth of what I am
saying here. That will be my response
to everything she has said about me –
all the negative things she has written
and caused to be written about me.
“Philips and I met during one of his
many visits to Nigeria, and I realized I
had met the man of my dream. When
that special person who excites the
passion in you comes along, you
begin to do things that are out of range
– you begin to be consumed by his
thoughts – you begin to send text
messages, call him all the time and
just feel so much in love. That was the
way I felt when Philips came along. I
knew that he was the man for me.“I
realized that we had the same outlook
about life, that I could start a sentence
and he would finish it for me, and
would convey the same thoughts I had
in mind. When I took him to see my
parents, they wholeheartedly accepted
him, even though he is not from my
part of the world -that is a testament to
Philips’ humanity that is very, very
transparent. “Philips and I have the
same ideology, and I am excited and
happy to be his wife. Our attraction is
mutual, our focus is interlocked and
what a great family man he is! Philips
calls my family even more regularly
than myself. He would just call to find
out how they are doing. He has such
good heart and kind spirit that is just a
beauty to behold.
“That is the man I met and agreed to
marry. All other depictions are borne
out of malice and hate, and we do not
even want to dignify their hate with a
response. Our marriage is a
celebration of love borne out of deep
sense of mutual attachment, trust and
abiding companionship. The
machinations of the naysayers will not
hold”. Perhaps one should ask, what
happened to a marriage that appeared
to have been made in heaven as
attested to by Ini Edo in her interview.
Our source stated that the marriage
began to experience challenges
months after the wedding that took
place in Houston, Texas.
“Philips financial stability was still a
work in progress but as a dedicated
wife, Ini was determined to support
and encourage her husband. She
wanted him to be more frugal and to
invest whatever resources he had in
things that will yield some dividends.
But things did not quite work out, “ the
source said.
“ Ini Edo is very industrious and
wanted combined efforts from her
husband to get things done. Eventually
fights began to occur. The last straw
that broke the camel’s back was the
house Ini bought in Lekki, a beautiful
edifice.“Philips wanted it to be a joint
property, but Ini vehemently said no,
that she would have none of that.
Philips was said to have threatened to
move out of their home if Ini refused to
put his name on the deed. She stood
her grounds and Philips also made
good his threat. He moved out of the
house and took up residence with
another lady in Accra, Ghana which
has been his home for the past six
months. All entreaties by family
members for Philips to return home
were rebuffed; he wanted his name on
the deed or no marriage. For three
months, Ini Edo did not set her eyes
on her husband and he had started
flaunting his new girlfriend to spite
Ini. Scheduled appointments by her
father in-law to resolve the issue
amicably were rebuffed by Philips and
ini was shocked.
“ There is no truth to the story that was
peddled that Ini Edo was involved in
extra-marital affairs. It was Philips
who actually did not respect the
sanctity of his marital vows. While
still legally married, he left his
matrimonial home and moved in with
another lady in Ghana”. When I
contacted Ini Edo and asked her to
conform what our source had told us,
she said she was done with that
chapter of her life and was looking
forward to new possibilities.
“Ekerete, you were there when we
started dating and eventually got
married. Does anything that has been
written about me, remotely resembles
who and what I am about? I wish
Philips the best in life”, she said.
Efforts to contact Philips were not
successful, but we hope someday to
get his own side of the story
Stories that touch the heart
As promised when this column made
its debut three weeks ago, that every
other week, I will publish gripping
true-life stories that shine the light on
the mountain and valley of marriage
and relationships, I begin today with
this story that will sure touch your
heart.
Remember, this was a genre that I
started in today’s Nigerian media, so
even though there are over a dozen of
such columns currently running in
major newspapers and magazines
(and I thank God for giving me the
vision and the talents to have started
this genre in 1986,) you can’t replicate
the original, you can only copy, so
straight from the pioneer, I present you
one of the longest lasting columns in
contemporary Nigerian media “Stories
that touch the heart”
One night of wrong judgment and one
hell of painful experience: why every
woman must read this story (1)
Ken was the love of my life-until my
husband came along. We had met in
our sophomore year in a political
science class and took to each other
instantly. Ken was the brightest
student in our class, and most student
s gravitated towards him. He had
women who practically offered
themselves to him, but he chose. Ken
unlike me, was not from a privileged
background. Father was a taxi driver
while mother did janitorial job in a
multinational company. But what he
lacked in material
terms, he had plenty in smarts and
good looks and it was those qualities
that all came back together on that
night that my life changed forever. As
I stated above, Ken was not materially
comfortable but he had an infectious
‘swagger’ about him that you couldn’t
fail but notice. Above all, his brilliance
and general demeanor was all too
evident. I can still recall vividly that
afternoon when our eyes met, and we
smiled affectionately at each other,
and my heart beat was racing at a rate
I thought it would just burst open. I
knew from the way I felt that I would
be defenseless if Ken were to make a
move on me, and that was exactly
what had happened when, at the end of
the class, Ken walked briskly towards
me, and displaying those charms that
made him stand out in spite of his
austere material circumstance, he told
me “hi pretty,
I think you are indeed a great
specimen of God’s creation. You are
absolutely stunning and if you don’t
mind, I would like to get to know you
better. As I am sure you already know,
my name is Ken, and here’s my
number. Please feel free to call me
anytime you have the chance”. “Have
a chance”? I had asked myself. Of
course, the chance was now! And I
wasted no time in calling Ken later
that evening, and we met and went out
for coffee.
Ken was the sweetest and
unpretentious guy I had ever gone out
with. Unlike those highly sheltered
and overfed sons of the rich and
mighty who thought they had it all, and
were doing you a favor by even
talking to you, Ken was down to earth
and was totally comfortable in his skin
in spite of the paucity of the material
things around him. I fell hopelessly in
love with him, and as I went back to
my room that night, one thought
occupied my mind: how to love Ken
and use some of my family’s material
blessings to help him whenever things
were rough with him. We started
dating soon afterwards, and we were
soon known all over the campus as
the inseparable lovers. Apart from
when we went to bed, Ken and I were
together all the time-we had the same
classes and also the same major.
Convinced that Ken would be the man I
would end up getting married to I had
brought him to see my parents and
there, I realized that our future
together may have some challenges. I
am what you would describe as
‘daddy’s little girl.’ I love my father so
dearly that I can walk on broken
bottles to show my love and affection
towards him. My daddy in my
estimation is the best father anyone
could hope to have. He had showered
me with love and anything I wanted
that was within his range, he would
provide without questions. I was the
apple of his eyes, and he always told
me that though he won’t interfere in
my choice of a life partner, but if he
felt such a choice would not guarantee
me happiness and a sense of stability,
he would object to it, and prayed that I
would understand should such a
moment arise in future. My mother on
the other hand was completely
liberal-whatever floats my boat was
ok with her. She trusted my sense of
judgement.
When I brought Ken to our home, I
could see that all was not well, when
my father gave me the ‘look’-
whenever he started down and
suddenly looked up, with his eyes
squinting, I knew the coast was not
clear on my demands. That was the
look he wore that day, soon after he
received Ken and had asked him some
questions. My father, unfortunately, is
big on pedigree, which in and of itself
is not a bad thing, and would always
wish for her daughters to marry
equally into money like he had done
himself. To him, Ken may not be able
to guarantee me the kind of lifestyle I
was used to, and he didn’t want to be
meddling into our material affairs, by
providing us with everything we
wanted. “That may bring resentment
from your husband, and signalthe
beginning of marital crises you may
not come out intact emotionally.
Why go into it in the first place if you
could help avoid it now”? My dad had
counselled. As we went back to our
school, there was no denying the fact
that Ken had realized he had not been
completely accepted by my father, and
he felt hurt and bruised by that. And on
my part, there was no doubt that I love
my father, and was therefore, not
willing to dismiss his concerns
simply because I loved Ken. I was torn
between two extremes. Needless to
say that our love, though still solid,
was showing signs of stress and
stress. It was during this time that on
a summer trip with my parents to
Houston, Texas, that I met a man who
in a short six months later would
become my husband.
TO BE CONTINUED
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